I lieu of our conversations about clients, I discovered this link from Speckboy that highlights some of the more ridiculous bad client quotes among web designers. 

“Please follow original instructions. we don’t want this page to look tricked out or computer generated…”

“Our web site doesn’t load if I turn javascript off … please fix this.”

“I want our side bar to look exactly like amazon’s. oh, here i am gonna send it to you, just use it…and then maybe make it kinda pastel, i hear that’s the new thing now, to make things look feminine.

“Can you guys make it more like a power-point presentation, you know, with the sliding text stuff and all?.”

“Well, I don’t think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?.”

“I checked with a friend and they said there definitely IS a rainbow effect in photoshop, why did you tell us there wasn’t one?.”

“more fonts. use more fonts!”
“ummm… how many do you want?”
“how many do you have?”

“I just don’t understand why this Flash cost so much. I mean, I can do the same kind of animations in PowerPoint. Why can’t we do something like in PowerPoint. It seems pretty simple to me.”

“We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don’t want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero.”

“less creativity, bigger pictures.”

“I saw your flash and html demos and the 3d commercial that you prepared, firstly,”I should say I dont believe that web design is a form of art”,and what you create is a kind of “bad art.”You shouldn’t create those, our agency will inform you about design, just use the instructions which will come from them, and create the site… Isn’t that what the webdesigner is for?”

“Dude, I got you a CD of clip art. Let’s make this site look dope!.”

“What is so complicated? I can understand all this! Let me do it, do you really think it is that complicated? It seems pretty easy to me.”

“Can you do it like in the Matrix…you know with numbers, zeros and ones, and glowing light, like in the Matrix, you know.”

“…why don’t you use more of that purple and green together?.”

“Please move the buttons to the top right hand side as one of my friends who uses the internet a lot says they will look better there.”

“We want it to be black, but could you not make it so dark?”

“The fact that this logo is creative and interesting is exactly what is wrong with it.”

“Why do we have all this blank space here, what can we do to fill it up.”

“Can you make it work in Netscape?”

“I’m not to sure about that “sign-in” button. Could you please make me 50 of them so that I can choose.”

“Can you add a frog, just jumping around the page. That’s bound to get people coming back to our site”.

From a client responding to a prototype with ‘lorem ipsum’ text on it:
“Why’s the site written in Spanish? The partners are definitely going to want to know what that’s about!”


Taken from Tofslie’s blog here.