In regards to the riveting series of videos about building a solid resume we’ve been watching in class, I thought I’d post an ode to the worst resumes ever. The site features a compilation of some of the worst resume blunders from several sites on the topic (note that there are several sites specifically listing crappy resumes…a sign of the times I suppose. Maybe we can learn from some of these poor bastards’ mistakes. Then again, maybe not. My stepfather is a head manager at a lumber supply company, and he can’t believe how utterly pathetic many of his applicants’ resumes are. For awhile, he’d bring them home to show us—which may or may not be legal—and they were sad. One guy scrawled across multiple rows, paying no heed to the designated rules, “I used to be a junkie, but now I’m much better.” There were many others, but that’s the only one that sticks in my mind right now.

As for the Job Mob’s collection of 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes Ever, there exist some real gems.

Among my favorites are:

Application Q: “How large was the department you worked in with your last company?” A: “3 stories.”

and

“I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”

and the illustrative and noble,

I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.

Some are funny, some inane. It’s a long list, you’ll likely find something funny.

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